Riley Cooper Is The Worst Person Imaginable

Aside from his questionable taste in music, the Philidelphia Eagle Wide Receiver is apparently a racist. And we all know, a racist is the worst thing a person can be. I mean, racists aren’t really even people, are they? Apparently Riley Cooper said “nigger.” And he said nigger with an “R” at the end. Not even the ever-present term of affection form, “nigga.” He said nigger, and enunciated the “R.” This is of course the worst form of saying nigger.  Have a link for context.

NFL Spokesman Greg Aiello said:

…the NFL stands for diversity and inclusion…

This statement raises two questions. The first, Who knew? I always thought NFL stood for National Football League, but whatever. The second, where are all the white defensive backs and running backs? Shouldn’t there be a racial quota? Okay, so I guess that makes three questions.

It would seem Riley Cooper is a case study in irony. The white Wide Receiver has played football for years with, one would think, countless black people. This activity never brought his latent racism to the surface. A few beers, and some music sung by a vertically challenged, closeted, homosexual, and Cooper was outed as the Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan.

I know that video never lies. It does; however, mislead. I am curious what precipitated this outburst. Had he just been robbed? Did one of the darker denizens of “Killadelphia” hit on his ole lady? One can only imagine.

As one would expect, Riley has apologized for his doubleplus ungood crimethink, and crimespeak. Luckily, Riley plays football with lots of black people. Maybe they will grant him cover so he doesn’t lose his job and his money, and become John Rocker. Maybe he followed John Derbyshire’s advice and he has an amulet of protection that will grant him immunity to the charges of racism. We shall see.

You know, Michael Vick is the Eagles Quarterback. Did y’all know he had a younger brother? Does he play football or something?

George Zimmerman Commits Another Crime!!!!

According to CBS News George Zimmerman committed another crime so heinous, it had to be reported:

(CBS) FORNEY, Texas – George Zimmerman, the former Florida neighborhood watch leader cleared of all charges in the shooting death of Trayvon Martin, was pulled over for speeding in North Texas on Sunday, CBS DFW reports.

According to the station, Zimmerman was armed when officers pulled him over on Highway 80 in Forney, east of Dallas.

Holy crap! I knew that Zimmerman was violent bastard! He committed a gun crime:

Zimmerman told the officer he was armed and was then told to put the weapon in his glove compartment, according to the station. The officer then told Zimmerman he could go on his way if he had no criminal issues.

This report leaves this ever so humble observer of society with only one thing to say: Dude, really?

Breaking News: Racially Motivated Murder Under Investigation

Atlanta, GA

The city of Atlanta is on edge, and racial tensions are high after a racially motivated murder that occurred last month in the downtown area. Atlanta police responded to a call concerning an African-American man dead on a sidewalk.  Upon their arrival, they saw the broken, and blood soaked body of Ja’Qu-on Mohamed laying in a pool of blood on the sidewalk.  As officers approached the scene, a person claiming to be a witness, Mike O’Malley, approached the officers. He claimed to have witnessed Mohamed leaping from the roof of a nearby apartment building, and falling to his death. After a cursory search of Mohamed’s body, police claim to have found a wallet containing Mohamed’s driver’s license which listed the apartment building as his place of residence.

According to police reports, officers searched the roof of the building, and discovered what appeared to be a recently used crack pipe, and a note signed by Mohamed stating that his recent firing from his job due to his crack habit and porn addiction has caused him to lose hope. The note went on to say that the author had lost his will to live, and the author intended to take his own life by jumping from the roof of his apartment building.

After an unusually short, and not very in-depth investigation, the Atlanta Police ruled the death a suicide, and released Mike O’Malley. The Atlanta Police Chief, who was fired last week due to his department’s handling of this heinous crime, said in an interview, “Look, Mr. Mohamed’s injuries were consistent with a fatal fall, there was cocaine in his system, and there was a suicide note. What other determination could have been made?”

Other determinations were made, however. Once news of the murder of Mohamed came to light, a host of celebrities, community organizers, and legal experts took to social media, and cable news shows to answer the embattled former Police Chief’s rhetorical question.

Actor Alec Baldwin, known for his insightful Twitter feed tweeted:

O’Malley was at the scene of the crime! How do you explain that? You bunch of inbred, mouthbreathing, racist, wingnuts!

Jesse Jackson was on Morning Joe where this exchange ensued:

Jackson: Joe, it is obvious to anyone with an open mind that O’Malley killed Mohamed because he was black man. This whole “witness” story is just O’Malley and the police covering up O’Malley’s part in the murder.

Scarborough: I know, right?

Even President Obama weighed in on this national tragedy. During a speech at the White House rose garden, the President said:

If I had a son, Mike O’Malley would have murdered him.

In a show of contrition to the morally superior public outcry, Georgia’s Attorney General appointed a special prosecutor to the case. During the investigation led by the special prosecutor it was learned that O’Malley voted against President Obama on two separate occasions. An offense that many describe as a clear indication of his latent racism. After that revelation, O’Malley was arrested for murder and hate crimes violations. The State is expected to seek the death penalty due to the racial component of this crime.

We will be following this story closely, and will report any breaking news.

 

 

 

Irreconcilable Differences

Am I wrong for listening to talk radio? I should stop, but there there is no music on the radio that I want to listen to. I am tired of talk radio. Well, I guess to be honest, I am tired of white people in general. Sounds odd, I know, but hear me out.

White people on all the talk radio shows have been talking about the Trayvon Martin thing lately. They point to the fact that George Zimmerman should not have been charged, and call it racism. They point to the fact that Obama DOJ is looking to charge George Zimmerman with Civil Rights violations, and call it racism. The Trayvon Martin affair is but one recent example, but to tell the truth I am just sick of white people crying about racism. Stop being cowards, whitey.

What white people these days fail to realize is that no one cares if whites are being oppressed. Those that believe in racism also believe that since white people are oppressors, they can not possibly be oppressed. The result works something like this:

Whitey: Hey Jesse Sharpton, you claim to want to fight racism, but what about this blatant racism against whites? (Use whatever example you like, Trayvon, IRS scandals, Black Panthers suppressing the white vote, etc.)

Jesse Sharpton: Hey whitey, you are white, so it is impossible for you to suffer from racism. Besides, you deserve any wrongs inflicted upon you!

Whitey: Well then, it is obvious to any objective observer, that you are a hypocrite, and your house of race cards will crumble at any time!

Jesse Sharpton: Ha! There are no objective observers! Your complaints will fall on deaf ears!

And so the cycle repeats. Whitey claims to be a victim of racism, but no one cares. Whitey has got to stop trying to beat Jesse Sharpton at the game he invented.

I am sick of whitey referring to incidents as racism, or reverse racism. Whitey is fighting on his enemy’s terms. It is a fight whitey cannot win. Stop crying like a victim whitey! These things are not racism.

These are not examples of racism. You want to know what they are examples of? Pick whatever example you would like. These are examples of irreconcilable differences. Those who espouse racism as the worst thing in the world are true believers in the religion of hate whitey. There is no arguing with those people because their beliefs are not based on logic or reason. Their beliefs are based on the emotions caused by perceived wrongs.

There is only one way to rectify irreconcilable differences: D-I-V-O-R-C-E. Let’s face it; blacks and the supporters of blacks have no interest in coexisting with whites. No matter what injustices whites endure nobody in the government or media cares. If we do not dissolve the Union, the oppression of whites will continue unabated. Secession is the only answer.

Oh, and for good measure: Nigger!

With all that said I leave you with one more NSFW video/song:

Ernest Hemingway

Ernest Hemingway…or someone, once said you should write drunk but edit sober. I don’t know. Maybe I should just do it all drunk. FYI, I have been on vacation. I am still around. Don’t give up on me yet. I am so drunk right now. It’s hard not to be. When you look around and realize everyone in power is trying to wipe out your race, there is not much else to do. Oh well, I am done.

The First Thing We Do, Let’s Kill All the Journalists

My God, can anything be more hamfisted and hackneyed as the media’s desperate last ditch attempt to convince anybody with half a brain that their narrative about the killing of Trayvon Martin was not an absolute fabrication? Just look at some of these stories:

Inside the Zimmerman jury room, it wasn’t a slam dunk

Juror never gave Trayvon a chance

Juror: Zimmerman should have stayed in his car

Zimmerman juror wins, loses book deal all in a day

Holy crap! Juror B-37 messed it all up! Well, this changes everything! Just look at all the stories that reported this as “black kid killed by white man.” When it was exposed that Zimmerman was white, I guess by someone who actually looked at a picture of him, the media threw out some articles about Hispanics being white. I am pretty sure any white supremacist worth their salt would refer to Big Z as a “shit-skin” or a “mud.”

As sickening as the media has been throughout the coverage of this event, the real hope-crusher, the thing that makes me lose all hope in humanity, the fact that makes me drink heavily and listen to Aenema by Tool on a constant loop is the number of people that are so mindblowingly stupid that they believe this stuff. Most people don’t read more than the headlines. They hit Google News, scroll down, look at the headlines until they find the latest story on Justin Bieber pissing in a bucket, and read that one. There was once a time when the most hated profession was attorney. I don’t know about you, but in my opinion “journalists” have become the most slimy, corrupt, oxygen-stealing forms of life on this planet.

 

 

George Zimmerman Not Guilty, World Still Needs an Enema

I must say I am surprised that the justice system was able to pull this one off with all the outside pressure to return a guilty verdict here. Have the race riots started yet? Ahhh, race riots, just one more reason diversity is our strength.

The thing that surprises me most is just how many stupid people there are out there. With the social media rage at George Zimmerman, and the fact that TLC is having a Honey Boo Boo event complete with a scratch and sniff card, I have lost all faith in the human race. Yes, the world still needs an enema, I am just not quite sure where it should go. If you force me to pick right now, I would say Hollywood.

Let’s face it, anybody that has watched an episode of CSI could have figured out the Trayvon Martin shooting. There was a reason the Sanford Police Department did not arrest Zimmerman. That reason: racism. The white supremacists in the Sanford Police Department were interested in protecting a Hispanic/Jew; a Hebspanic if you will. Give me a freakin break.

I haven’t seen any news of spontaneous blackness erupting anywhere. Maybe the black community leaders have convinced the youfs to hold off on rioting to see if the Feds will prosecute Zimmerman. I have no confidence in the Federal Government to do the right thing. I figure this thing ends in tragedy no matter how it plays out. Either the Feds refuse to take up the case, or the Feds end up coming to the same conclusion as the jury in Florida. In which case black folks will chimp out and steel TVs and cars and shit. Or the Feds railroad Zimmerman. In which case white anti-government nuts will either kill some local cops who had nothing to do with any of this, or blow up a federal office building with a daycare in it. The bright side? Maybe the enema is coming.

By the way, am I the only one that finds it funny that the President of the NAACP is named Jealous? Whatever. I leave you with a song that given the current state of affairs really resonates. [NSFW]

 

UPDATE: Yup, this song is still freakin awesome!

Review of IRS E-Mails Found Nothing

Unless you are a headline writer for Bloomberg.com. Their headline reads “Review of 5,500 IRS E-Mails Found No Political Targeting.” Of course if you read the article it sounds an awful lot like nothing was determined to any degree of certainty. Funny that.

The documents further muddy the picture of what happened at the IRS in 2010. The controversy following the inspector general’s report has prompted six congressional inquiries and a criminal probe. At least four IRS executives have been pushed out of their jobs.

Maybe this is just a case of a poorly written article. It could be that the article is just about the findings of the Inspector General’s review, and the headline is just stating what is contained in the review. Maybe it is a case of the propaganda arm of the ruling elite trying to pull a fast one on us dumb rubes. To be honest, I don’t really care either way. The only thing worth taking away from the whole IRS scandal is that if the tax laws in this country weren’t so punitive and confusing, this scandal would not exist.

Thirteen Year Old Boy Set On Fire For Being White

Move along! Nothing to see here.

“They rushed him on the porch as he tried to get the door open,” Coon told KMBC. “(One of them) poured the gasoline, then flicked the Bic, and said, ‘This is what you deserve. You get what you deserve, white boy.'”

This is decidedly not racist since a white kid was set on fire. The young man is apparently recovering in a local hospital. I predict no national outrage over this crime. Other bold predictions: Water will be wet, sky will be blue, and sun will be hot.

Defining Race Relations

You ever a buy a bag of cookies? Is bag the correct terminology? Is it pack maybe? You know what I mean, the cookies that come in the plastic wrapper with the clear plastic tray in which the cookies sit. Most of your Keebler cookies come in that type of packaging, with pictures of those treacherous elves. Fucking elves. Where was I? Oh yeah, so you go to get a cookie, and you open the plastic wrapper then slide the tray out. You grab one, or two, or three, or ten cookies. You then set them to the side to put up the rest of the cookies. You try to slide the tray back in the wrapper, but those miserable, evil, scheming little fucking elves made the tray and the wrapper almost identical in size. The wells in which the cookies sit grab the wrapper and hold on to it with the determination of a salt water crocodile pulling a gazelle to its doom. You go from frustrated to cursing mad like a Bugatti accelerating to 60. No matter how hard you try you can’t get the friggin tray back in its wrapper. Your reasonable mind thinks that maybe you should stop trying to force the situation, and tear the wrapper at its seam, but fuck that! This is a personal challenge issued by those knife-eared sons of bitches, and by God, you’re going to win it! You shove, and you twist, and you straighten, but its no use. That piece of shit tray won’t go back into that suck-egg wrapper, but you’ll be damned if you’ll admit defeat! You’re gonna show those effeminate, pointed eared, abominations whose boss! And finally after who knows how long, a ruptured vein in your four-head, and the vocabulary of children expanding in the four-letter word category, you finally have defeated this elven torture device. In anger and frustration, you smash the cookies on the counter, hurl your glass of milk into the sink, grab a bottle of scotch and drink yourself to sleep.

That is really all race relations is about. You’ve got a tray and wrapper that don’t want to be together, and a ruling class going through all manner of machinations to make it work. It is an exercise in futility, so they get frustrated and hate us. Or maybe that’s just my take on it. Reasonable people can disagree.

😛