Opinionated Y.T.

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Posts Tagged ‘Wide receiver

Riley Cooper Is The Worst Person Imaginable

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Aside from his questionable taste in music, the Philidelphia Eagle Wide Receiver is apparently a racist. And we all know, a racist is the worst thing a person can be. I mean, racists aren’t really even people, are they? Apparently Riley Cooper said “nigger.” And he said nigger with an “R” at the end. Not even the ever-present term of affection form, “nigga.” He said nigger, and enunciated the “R.” This is of course the worst form of saying nigger.  Have a link for context.

NFL Spokesman Greg Aiello said:

…the NFL stands for diversity and inclusion…

This statement raises two questions. The first, Who knew? I always thought NFL stood for National Football League, but whatever. The second, where are all the white defensive backs and running backs? Shouldn’t there be a racial quota? Okay, so I guess that makes three questions.

It would seem Riley Cooper is a case study in irony. The white Wide Receiver has played football for years with, one would think, countless black people. This activity never brought his latent racism to the surface. A few beers, and some music sung by a vertically challenged, closeted, homosexual, and Cooper was outed as the Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan.

I know that video never lies. It does; however, mislead. I am curious what precipitated this outburst. Had he just been robbed? Did one of the darker denizens of “Killadelphia” hit on his ole lady? One can only imagine.

As one would expect, Riley has apologized for his doubleplus ungood crimethink, and crimespeak. Luckily, Riley plays football with lots of black people. Maybe they will grant him cover so he doesn’t lose his job and his money, and become John Rocker. Maybe he followed John Derbyshire’s advice and he has an amulet of protection that will grant him immunity to the charges of racism. We shall see.

You know, Michael Vick is the Eagles Quarterback. Did y’all know he had a younger brother? Does he play football or something?

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